It’s no secret that I’m going through a bout of depression right now, though I don’t expect many would really have noticed since my angry/sad/depressed side isn’t something I wear on my sleeve. Those who know me can see past the bullshit I spin though which is always a nice thing, I can just be me.
It’s a bastard to go through though but in saying that, every cloud does have a silver lining and at least depression brings out my angry side and I have to admit, I do enjoy those angry moments sometimes. You might ask if I’m nuts…well, no I am not but when you’re angry it gives you a different set of glasses to view the world through and that’s where the fun begins.
I become even more of an observer of human nature when I’m like this and I’m amazed at the nerve of some people out there who just come along and say the most stupid and damaging things to others under the guise of “help”. I hope they have the best intentions and are just not the best communicators in the world otherwise there is a lot of potential damage they can do to vulnerable people.
My advice to people is be really careful what you say to anyone who is going through a tough time emotionally, platitudes are really just a Hallmark card from your mouth, they serve little purpose, anyone and everyone can come up with the same lines and they don’t accurately portray your empathy. Then there is the “expert”, they often come along and offer some wonky advice starting with things like, “make sure you” and “don’t do…” Right….and your expertise in Mental Health is?
Most of the time these people are battlers of the same or similar issues and they wrongly assume that what does and doesn’t work for them is the same for every other person on the planet – how deluded can a person get? :smack: By all means make suggestions IF and only if the person you are giving the advice to has given you permission to do so otherwise you’re starting to cross friendship boundaries.
Depression and other mental health disorders affect people differently, and people have different needs with treatments. Most times there is a need for medication, and some form of counselling but depending on the individual and what works and doesn’t work for them it will be different. Whatever route they choose to help themselves heal throughout this illness is their choice ultimately and nobody has a right to tell them what will or won’t work for them. That’s just plain rude!
Nobody has done any of the above to me, at least not this time but this is one of the reasons I’m flying under the radar online at the moment because I don’t react too well to know-it-all’s telling me what to do to fight MY illness. Of course I would welcome the intrusion but if anyone feels the need to tell me what is best for me they should be prepared to say it to my face so I can give them a mouth-full for their trouble!
:angry:
:soapbox:
A kinda random response for my biting friend:
http://www.bitrebels.com/geek/facebook-manners-101/
Hope it gives you a not-so-random giggle!
:dance:
Ahhh Penny.. thank you, that’s sheer brilliance or “jolly good fun!”, it tickled my funny bone :lmao:
I can see the problem just sing ‘Don’t worry be Happy’ and sit in the sun for ten minutes. Problem solved.
Also make sure you are polite and respectful to those around you, just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean they have to have one too. And don’t be unappreciative of people’s advice, they know better than you.
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
My only advice, from one depressive mental nutter to another, is simply this:
“Fuck ‘em all!” rofl rofl :lmao:
:lmao: YEAH!!! I like it! :yay:
I can relate being another fellow nutter… there is no one shoe fits all answer. But keep trying things until you find your answer.
My psychiatrist says if you don’t get angry you get depressed so unleash that anger.
I also second Mal’s suggestion. :hug: :angel:
I’ve developed a pretty thick skin when it comes to people offering unsolicited advice and generally will pull them up for it..they never like that!
I do agree with your psych about the anger, I know too well what holding it in does.
Can you put a picture of yourself smiling on here? I’m starting a fellow nutters society, of which I shall be chair-nutter!
If I’m not mad, no-one is! :yay:
You ARE mad!! Hahaha photos of me smiling are almost as rare as hen’s teeth because I hate my smile.
(I went straight pass the comments posted so far as I didn’t want to be blighted by what other peeps have said so far). An old adage my brother used to stick to was “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything.” which is pretty much the philosophy I try and stick to when it comes to trying to express my empathy or dishing out advice.
I know from what I went through in 2006 that token words (and that’s what they are ultimately, just token words) don’t do anything to help. I had to go through it on my own – even knowing Em was with me and she’d gone through her own bouts of mental illness – it was my own battle. I couldn’t even relate how I got out the other side because one day I just did. That sounds pathetic, but that’s what happened. Just one day I noticed I didn’t feel so dark any more and I felt okay.
I’m not the best person at expressing empathy, but who is when you’re just using words? Things like this still highlight the limitations of the Internet for me. I try not to do the token thing as much as possible. It’s hard though when you care for people and you want to wish them well.
(((hugs))) is so hollow, but sometimes it’s the only thing that can be expressed. I used to HATE seeing (((hugs))) from people, but if you know the person well, you know they mean it with as much empathy as is plausible online.
The last thing I’d ever want to do is try and offer advice on a situation that is beyond advise.
I’ll shut up now and stick to my brothers adage. All I hope is that you will feel better soon. No doubt the words sound token but they are heartfelt and genuine
Yeah I hear you, it IS harder to ‘be there’ for someone online but not impossible. Good advice…I don’t need it though hahaha.
In the past I know how I’ve gotten through my depressive bouts, I have learnt what works for me and I go through the motions to get through it. Sometimes it’s harder than others but I plug away. I think that’s why I rarely accept advice from other people – they’re not me and don’t know what actually works because I don’t share it with others in case they think I’m “telling them” what to do!
Isn’t it a nasty struggle though…horrible, but I get a fair bit out of the darkness, the experience always teaches me a lot.
Seriously…this post wasn’t written about me, sure the depression IS about me, seeing other people drop stupid advice wasn’t about me. I have no issue with depression though…but wait – that’s another post :woot:
Yep- depression- I haz it. Mass suckage. Sorry if I seem to give “advice” sometimes- I don’t expect people to follow my suggestions- I’m really just trying to be there, and what’s more I don’t take offense if people suddenly bag me! Others seem to deliberately take suggestions at a slant and make out you told them something silly- I just think “oh boo yar- get it off your chest then, crankypants!”!!rofl
SRSLY- I hope your depression lifts- mine is slowly lifting after being just plain deathly for months. Have you got to the stage where you can be truly interested in things? Just curious- I haven’t really. :hmmm:
Hi Grumba, thanks for stopping by. Sorry to hear you’re another one struck down by this dreaded black cloud but it’s good that it’s lifting. Mine is up and down like a yo-yo which really torments me at times.
Have I got to the stage where I can be truly interested in things? Not really, I have moments of enthusiasm and interest but I think one of the things that I’m battling is my confidence took a really big knock a few weeks back and that seems to be what I need to get through.
Overall, that feeling of no interest in things you typically enjoy is horrible isn’t it!
Do you have implement (or try to) something to get that interest back? I try and push myself, sometimes it works, other times I feel like I’m just patronising myself (if that’s possible).