None of us are strangers to hearing of the evil doings in this world, whether they be war or terrorism related or on an abuse level.
I got some news from one of my closest friends the other day that her son who is 12 years old was the victim of sexual abuse, by none other than her own boss!
She works for a local take away shop on the Coast, it’s a big chain but I am not going to mention what company because the company had no idea what was going on so they aren’t to blame in this situation. The company DID act swiftly when they found out what was going on though, the manager in question was instantly sacked and the company offered and are paying for counselling for my friend and her son and looking after her very well through this – kudos to them! Some of my friends will know the chain since they will work out who I am talking about.
Last week there were allegations made by a teenage boy, that this manager had offered him $50 to take a photo of his privates, smart boy, he went and told his mum immediately. She started the ball rolling and spoke to head office, and they instantly put this guy off to investigate. Naturally all the employees at this store were interviewed about his behaviour etc… and when my friend mentioned it to her son, he broke down in tears and told her what he’d been subjected to over the last 8 months.
As you can imagine my friend is devastated by this, she’s going through all the guilt associated by that of a parent, “why didn’t I notice?” “why couldn’t I protect him?” The questions are so easy in hindsight.
What she fails to remember is these types of predators are very cunning, they manipulate quite well. She can’t understand how he could manipulate her son, she’s constantly spoken to her kids about things like this, being inappropriately touched, and also being spoken to in an inappropriate manner. Her kids all swore if anything happened they would speak up.
As a survivor of such abuse myself, I understand only too well how it all works. You can know that all you need to do is speak up BUT if the abuser has the right “tool” to shut you up….you won’t be telling anyone for a while. And this is what I told her, I tried to imagine what this animal might use as a way of stopping her son speak up. I can think of one straight away.
My friend has done it tough over the years, and this son (her youngest), is a sensitive soul, very caring about those around him and animals etc… she works hard and long hours to pay for everything and it’s not always easy. She’s a fantastic mum and he knows the sacrifices she makes to feed and clothe them. He knows how important her wage is. And I’m betting, since this abuser was her manager, the son was possibly threatened with her job.
Imagine putting that kind of pressure on a kid? Suddenly he’s going to be feeling totally responsible for her keeping her job. This abuser is like the others – EVIL!!!
Once it came out that he’d been abused, she immediately phoned the police and head office to let the know what had happened, and they all went through the legalities etc..
On Sunday, the police went to question him, he assumed it was about the allegations of the original kid and no doubt assumed that he’d sweet talk his way out of it too – WRONG! They put the handcuffs on and arrested the bastard! He was in the lock up over night, in court the following morning and is remanded in custody until March when I’m guessing he’s going to have to answer for all this shit!
The police told my friend he’s facing a decent prison stretch when the case is heard, and if any others come forward in the meantime then it will be tripled. Hopefully with her son coming forward, others might feel brave enough to. I know it’s not the easiest thing to do, I take my hat off to my friend’s son for being such a champ and seeing that this creep gets what he deserves.
I guess for the abuser, he’s almost lucky being remanded in custody….it would be safer for him no doubt. Nobody likes people who do this to kids. What amazes me is that there are so many predators like this and they DO get caught….why do they all think they can get away with it? Mental!
I feel so ill over all of this, it drags up my own horrific memories BUT it sickens me more to see a great kid like him join that club of victims that become survivors of the most painful memories. I just hope he can get good help so it doesn’t affect him too greatly in years to come.
And I’m sickened to know that I’ve actually engaged this monster in conversation in the past, if only I’d have known.
I will keep my fingers crossed that while he’s locked up, someone gives him a good dose of punishment in prison! That’s one thing I do appreciate, even criminals don’t tolerate this shit!
Abuse in its many forms can often have two sides to a story – never makes it right. BR/BR/However, sexual abuse is completely and utterly intolerable. Abuse of a child is so sickening it is beyond words.BR/BR/I have had to deal first hand with the aftermath of a mother child scenario and can only extend my thoughts to the mother of the boy. You cannot for your own sanity and future take the blame for what an evil predator has done here. No one can be everywhere, no one can know all. BR/BR/Praise to you both that he had sufficient faith in his Mum to open up.
Oh Wendy, that is so sad, my heart goes out to the boy and his mum. They both deserve all the support that can be mustered for them for the courage they have and are going to have to show.
I would be hard pressed not to take the law into my own hands if this ever happened to one of my children. I hope that time, therapy, and the love of each other will help this boy and his mother overcome the damage that has been done by this pervert.
That’s ferked-up
There are some seriously sick bastards in this world but those that manipulate children like this are about as sick as they get.BR/BR/I really do hope that this one gets what he deserves.BR/BR/And I truly hope your friend’s sone can find his inner strength and get himself through this.
What’s really sick is that chances are this guy will find nothing wrong in what he did, even after he’s locked up for his crime. I hope he gets what he deserves.
JimBob51 – great feedback, sadly it’s human nature to blame yourself, especially when it’s about someone in your care but I do understand what you mean, in the long run there is no point in doing it, if anything it’s more damaging to the situation. Best thing to do is focus on him getting the help he needs and not making it personal to her.BR/BR/Keli – thanks, I think they are going to get through this okay, and her son will too. He’s still got a great attitude now, he is upset about what happened naturally, but he’s open to receiving the help and talking about it all which is a great step forward. I’m really hoping for minimal damage for him over this.BR/BR/Holly – I hear you on that, and that’s what my friend is struggling with, she and the boy’s father want to dish out their own punishment but they know at this stage it’s better that he goes through the proper legal channels.BR/BR/Maljam – I agree…horrible
BR/BR/Aoj – my friend will go through this, if you knew the things she’s endured over her life you’d see she’s a true fighter and survivor, this will be a tough one for her as it was against her own child but she will get through it with the previous strength.BR/BR/Cynicalgirl – I agree, he will have excuses and see nothing wrong in his behaviour, that’s sickening. The odd thing is I haven’t seen anything about this in the papers or on the news this week.
So many times, we parents tell our kids to watch out for those type of people and forget that it usually occurs with someone they know personally and trust. I hope that guys gets a “what for” in prison.
If i had my way he wouldn’t need prison. A bullet is a cheaper alternative and i’d gladly pull the trigger!
That’s so sickening, but I’m sure your friend will drawn strength from your support and friendship.
Grrrrr! I was just stopping by to say hi and see this! The worst part is the court case! A cousin of mine went through something similar as a child of 8 and the court was far more traumatic than the abuse! So much so that when she was 13 and raped by a so called older friend who was 20 and nearly killed her, she refused to take it to court and the bastard got off scott free! Caused her a lifetime of horror and issues! (And me too! I was the only one other than her who knew who he was and was told by her parents to keep quiet as her brothers would have killed him) Im normally a pacifist but people like this make me want blood! What the hell is wrong with them?
[[[hugs]]] for you both this Festive Season. Enjoy each other.BR/BR/CyalaytaBR/Mal
Grrrrr! We have been going through our own degree of awful down here! CG’s panic attacks these past weeks after her ordeal have peaked with her partners 5 year old sister being molested by her grandad. Its too bloody awful for words, can’t talk about it in public or on my blog as she has sworn to not tell us. Poor love. My brother was going off the other day about a friend of his copping it as a kid and poor
CG went hysterical. She told me what she had been told not to tell us as its being investigated but she is so used to telling mama everything it was eating her up. Its breaking her heart and mine. She really did not need this right now but neither did the poor baby who copped it! Who in their right mind does these things! Its just not fair!
OH hell…that’s awful news, it sickens me that it happens so much and the statistics aren’t really true, there are more that sadly remain quiet.
I used to run a support group some years ago and the stories I heard were just horrific.